Creative Commons

Avery K Tingle, The Gamer Author
NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO PUT THEIR HANDS ON YOU IN A WAY YOU DO NOT APPROVE OF.


IT IS NOT NORMAL.

IT RARELY GETS BETTER.

OVER TEN MILLION MEN AND WOMEN ARE VICTIMS OF INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE EACH YEAR IN THE UNITED STATES ALONE.


BETWEEN FOUR AND SEVEN CHILDREN ARE LOST EVERY DAY TO CHILD ABUSE IN THE UNITED STATES ALONE.


No one, and I mean no one, has the right to make you feel unsafe in your own home. Everyone has the right to feel safe.


Abuse and neglect does not care about age or gender. It happens to men, women, and children every single day. Speaking as a victim of child and domestic abuse, please know that these situations rarely improve on their own, because the perpetrator has to be willing to change on their own. Often, these people are projecting their own faults and inadequacies onto their victims.


Do you understand that? THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PERSON DOING THIS TO YOU.


Abuse does not have to be physical. It can be verbal (which is often worse. Scars heal). This includes;


  1. Belittling
  2. Pretending Everything Is Okay And Then Exploding At the Slightest Thing, Real or Imagined. This is an extremely emotionally destructive technique that can induce anxiety, because you want things to be okay so badly that you’ll go out of your way to avoid a confrontation, and even after you’ve done everything you could, they blow up anyway.
  3. Gaslighting. Making you question your own sanity. I dealt with a woman who made me believe one of my closest friends was hitting on her. She also told me some of my memories with her did not happen. The idea is to make you totally dependent on the perpetrator. This is the worst form of psychological breakdown I’ve encountered.


These situations rarely get better on their own, and they can quickly devolve into dark comfort zones. The most difficult aspect of all of this, even harder than the abuse, is to admit that something needs to change, and then make that change.


I implore you, if any of this sounds familiar, tell someone. Tell ANYONE. You may find a support structure you didn’t know you had.


If you know this happening to someone, you have a chance to save someone’s life.

If you are an adult, male or female, or you know an adult, male or female, who is being abused or neglacted, please call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

If you are an immigrant who is afraid of being deported, please contact 213-639-3900.

If you don't feel that either of these are an option for you and you'd like to reach out, please email me directly here. I'm a survivor of both child and domestic violence. I may be able to help. All matters remain confidential.

If you know are a child, or you know a child, who is being abused or neglected, please call the toll-free National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.