Most days, Trazedone keeps the anxiety at bay. But there are days, like today, where I just can't shake the monster and it seizes my gut like a python.
When that happens, this is how I deal.
1). Acknowledge It.
I'm afraid. Why am I afraid? What is happening right now to make me afraid? What has happened before to make me afraid?
Yelling in frustration to myself "I DON'T KNOW!" is a cop out and just leads further down the rabbit hole. If I don't know, then I can't deal with it. If I can't deal with it, then I will be mired in this forever.
And I will not let that happen.
What is happening in my present situation to trigger my fear? Is it my writing? No, because I'm writing well right now. Is it my family? We're dealing with the death of a family friend--
But there's more. There's always more.
The incident a couple of weeks ago, where I got confronted by the new Confederacy.
I'm not as fast as I used to be. I'm not as strong as I used to be. I can't fight like I used too, with reckless abandon only concerned with the victory. I can't do that with a family at stake.
I was afraid; if it had come down to a fight, I'm not sure I could have taken all of them. Ten years ago, sure. Now? I don't know. If that family hadn't shown up...
Between the loss of a family friend and that recent encounter, I'm dealing with my own mortality.
I am blessed to be surrounded by some good people. Twenty bucks says you are too. I try to put people around me who have had similar experiences, who are also older than me. These people are great company for pulling me out of my headspace.
One day, I'm going to die. But that does not appear to be today. The incident passed and turned into something positive. The person who died did so smiling, with people who loved him at his side. If I get that at the end, then I've achieved everything I needed in life.
Anxiety isn't something one "Just gets over". A person isn't broken or defective because they deal with mental illness. Everyone who does has their own coping mechanism. The best we can do is offer assistance, rather than condemnation.
I hope you take something from this.
This is how I deal with my anxiety.
Thanks for reading.
Greatly enjoying his status as a "Rogue Christian", Avery K. Tingle "The Gamer Author" is a survivor of child and domestic abuse. The author of scifi romance The Anniversary, he is currently writing two 100k word novels that he's determined to have done by the end of 2017. He lives in Eastern Washington with his wife and son and loves his day job in IT.