Monday, August 7, 2017

Avery K Tingle

An Extroverts Guide To Introverts

Congratulations on adopting your first introvert! If you own a cat you have a head start on this adventure. Your introvert will challenge you, cancel plans at the last minute, and may never, ever speak to you on the phone. However, given time and TLC, your introvert will become one of the most loyal and caring people you've ever met, so much so that you'll wonder what you ever did without one.

Let's get started!

So let's start with you. You're the social butterfly, the one who loves to laugh loud, be around as many people as you can, laugh loudly with others who are laughing loudly and happily chatter away with everyone in the room.

Meanwhile, the person you brought with you, the one you swore would have a good time, the one who never seems to get out of the house, has either disappeared into the corner with a single person where they appear to be whispering. Or they're playing with the dog. Maybe both. But they just don't seem to be having a good time and if you'd known it would've been like this for them, you never would have made them leave the house.

Let me start by saying that your friend doesn't hate people. An introvert prefers to take one person at a time, engage in what they consider a meaningful conversation, process that conversation, and move on. An extrovert says 'party' an introvert hears 'room full of walking talking nuclear bombs'. Introverts don't hate people, but being the center of attention is like being in the center of the sun. Everyone is talking so much and so loudly that it all devolves into black noise, and soon we want to go home and never come out.

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Your introvert would actually love to meet new people. This is why we count on our extrovert friends because meeting people comes far easier to you than it does to us. But please be patient. An introvert can (and loves too) talk deeply about most things and finds that introductory small talk forced and awkward. We're not good at it. This is what we count on you for because you shine at the introduction.

Your introvert will never agree to a spur of the moment party. That's like asking them to walk into that room full of bombs when they're already exploding. One on one events are a little less daunting, especially in the beginning, but still, take days of notice. Don't surprise your introvert with last minute plans because they'll lock up like a turtle's jaw. The more notice you give, the more time they have to mentally prepare for the event. I promise, if they're going with you to this event, know that your relationship means a great deal to them. 

The last thing you should know is that your introvert simply wants to be alone from time to time. They are not antisocial. As you're recharged from hanging out with people, an introvert is a dead battery after a party. They're not avoiding you, chances are they had a good time, but after so much noise, your introvert will need to disappear and recharge in silence. Often this is the hardest part for the extrovert to relate to; an introvert needs solitude, silence, and space to function. Given time they'll be (reluctantly) happy to people again, but that time alone is necessary.

Extroverts can introduce introverts to the world the latter would never see otherwise. Introverts can provide that lifelong friendship the extrovert may be lacking. So thank you for adopting an introvert and if you haven't, consider picking one up today!

Thanks for reading. 

Avery K Tingle

About Avery K Tingle

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Kim Watt
August 30, 2017 at 12:06 AM delete

Love this! I'm absolutely an introvert, but luckily my extroverted friends are pretty understanding. They do drag me out, but never to anything too crazy, plus they always understand when I need to run away early. Or when I flat out refuse to go anywhere because I need cat and book time...