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Four Years From Now.
I open my
eyes, and I am falling.
The sky
is clear and blue, the wind is more of a gentle caress than a brutal frapping.
My descent is peaceful, nowhere near high velocity.
I take in
the lush green landscape moments before gravity takes me, allowing me a gentle
landing. I touchdown not with the force of a comic hero's arrival, but with the
ease of a lost feather.
I rise
slowly, overwhelmed by the sense of peace but plagued by my own apprehension.
As if in response to my mental state, my hand closes around something of cloth
and steel.
Although
I know what it is before I look down, I cannot help but marvel at it's beauty
when I first see it. The katana sword is utterly flawless, its cutting edge
reflective of a mysteriously absent sun.
"Daddy?"
It's a
child's voice calling out to me. It pulls my attention away from the sword and
across the field.
There's a
long-haired little girl several yards away. She's dressed in a plain pink
jacket that is unzipped to her midsection. She smiles brightly, and even in the
distance I can see the gap where her front teeth should be.
Her smile
grows wider as she removes her hands from her jacket pockets.
"Daddy!" She cries out gleefully and races across the field. She
crashes into my midsection with more force than a child her size should have,
wrapping her arms around my waist as she presses the side of her face into my
stomach. "Daddy! You're here! You made it!"
I'm
suddenly aware that I'm still holding the sword.
Still
trying to make sense of all this, I bring my left arm up around the girl's
shoulders.
She beams
up at me, stepping away and raising her hands towards me, clenching and
unclenching her fingers in that oh-so familiar pleading method.
Suddenly,
she looks down to the sword and giggles. "Daddy, what're you doing with
that?"
Just as
suddenly, before I can even begin to formulate an answer, the girl takes my
wrist, grasps the hilt and gently pries the blade out of my hand.
"God
said you were silly, daddy." The girl continues giggling as she tosses the
sword away like it's refuse, "You don't need that here."
Again she
steps back, blissfully unaware of my bewilderment, and reaches up again.
Unsure of
what else to do, I scoop the girl up by lifting under her arms. Again, she
giggles with happy excitement.
She wraps
her arms around my neck and plants a warm, loving kiss on the side of my face.
Only when she pulls away do I recognize her eyes.
They're
mine.
"Oh
my God." I breathe, "Niyana?"
She
shakes her head, forehead furrowing. "Of course, daddy! Who else would it
be?"
I shake
my head, overcome by joy and disbelief. I pull her close and squeeze.
"But
daddy." She whispers, "You can't talk like that up here, okay?"
When she
pulls away, her index finger is raised to her mouth and she quickly shakes her
head.
My
bewilderment passes. I know exactly where I am. "Okay." I nod,
holding my daughter by the waist.
A warm,
forgiving breeze washes over the both of us, catching her hair and letting it
fly.
"Isn't
it beautiful, daddy?"
I shake
my head, taking in the sheer majesty of it all. "I've never seen anything
like this." I reply honestly. "Niyana..." I hesitate, "Can
I ask you a question?"
My
daughter looks back at me, putting her hands on my shoulders and beaming.
"Sure, daddy."
"If
I'm here...does that mean I'm dead?"
She
shakes her head. "Of course not, daddy. You have to go back in a little
while."
I fight
off the tears brought on by a bittersweet answer. "I'm not ready to go
back yet." I confess.
Niyana
hugs me. "You have too, daddy." She whispers, "But you'll be
back again, I promise. I asked God to bring you here to play with me."
"I'd
like to play with you." I whisper back, grinning."
Niyana
allows me to put her down and then takes
my hand. "Come on, daddy." She nods her head to the distance.
"Run with me."
"Where
will we run too?"
She
shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. Let's just enjoy the run."
Niyana,
my daughter, takes off like a shot down the hilly field.
No longer
asking questions, nor caring how much time I have here, I follow.












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