So here I sit.
I think I have everything I need.
I have this beautiful L-shaped desk, strategically placed by my living room window. When in writing spells, I have a habit of staring to my right. I don't know why, but I figured if I was going to look to the right, I might as well look at something. So now, sometimes in the same day, I can choose between a thundering rainstorm or a beautiful, cloudy blue sky that makes me homesick.
Directly ahead of me is the TV. Right now, it's an episode of Law & Order: SVU, one of my favorite shows, but an episode I've seen to death. I take refuge in routine and continuity. Either that or I just need the noise. Sometimes I mute the TV and retreat into my iTunes, soon to be Windows Media Player.
I have a Twitter account with over twenty followers now, I have a fair amount of MySpace friends, and I'm starting to become more active on Facebook. I'm up on a lot of technology-related news (Yahoo needs to bend over and take it, because by force or otherwise, it's gonna happen.) and I even have a Samsung Alias phone that I use to monitor all my accounts when I'm offline. It's got this neat little feature that allows it to flip up two ways. It makes me feel cool when I text.
Yes, I have everything I need. I'm much smarter than I was ten years ago.
This is not my first attempt at building a multimedia business. Rather, it's my fifth, I think.
All the lessons I learned along the way are being applied now. I know what I'm good at, I know what I suck at. I know that my heart lies in the creative process. One day, I would like to turn the business over and focus on making story-based games and animated movies. I understand the tremendous workload I'm taking upon myself, trying to go my own way instead of seeking publishing help. This drive pours from two faucets; one, I'm the most anti-authority, rebellious sumbitch you may ever meet, and two, as cliche as this sounds, I don't want some accountant fucking up my vision to fit a market I'm not trying to reach. Hell, it pisses me off that people I used to get into fights with because of my passion for gaming are now first in line for Grand Theft Auto.
But yes, I've learned my lessons.
I don't work with a whole group of inexperienced volunteers right now. Instead, I work with one creative firebrand who shares my passion for more emphasis on plot in various genres of gaming. We spend our spare time inspiring one another, when I'm not using the poor kid as a sounding board. The stories he has bely his age (he's a wizard in a teenagers body), and we work together putting our (mostly mine, for now) ideas on paper. I don't hire people until I actually need them.
I don't work from my yahoo address anymore. I invested money and registered my own domain at youarenowplaying.com.
I'm not trying to change the world on my first game, if I'm talented enough to assemble a first game. Instead of trying to go broke making the next big AAA title, I'm using a business model that allows the creation of small, casual, cheap titles that can be assembled quickly and picked up or put down easily. We demonstrate an ability to complete a title, we'll get our chance to change the world.
Right now, it's hard work, but I asked for it. I spend my spare time going between the feature-length film script, editing the completed script for a contest I plan to enter, outlining the story for the mega-game I want to do, planning the smaller game I need to do, or focus on how much it's gonna cost me to build the websites. It's a full time job in and of itself.
But this is what I want, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not naive enough to go boasting that Modern Magic Enterprises is gonna be the next EA or anything like that, but I'm confident enough to say that having picked up the lessons I have thus far, being patient, diligent, and following the right course of action will get me to where I want to be.
So here's hoping.