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Pizza Soup For The Soul

Outside my window a typical midwest thunderstorm rages on. I try to enjoy it from the inside while I can; I'll soon be trudging to work in it.
Not that I mind my job so much, mind you. It's mostly people management. I get to sit in an office, complete with a fridge and access to a microwave. The tenants like me, so they often provide me a meal or allow me to access their fridge. My laptop doubles as an entertainment center. If I had a cot, or even my inflatable mattress, I could call it home.
A few times a week, I have to bust someone's head open, deal with inept law enforcement, or endure a death threat. That's the drawback. Considering my background, it's nothing new, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't faze me. The job provides me with enough money to live in relative comfort and pursue my ambitions. I don't have a lot to complain about.

I've been living this straight life for about two years now. I'm only now starting to make sense of it all.
Before this, I used to be a fighter.
When I say that, I mean I used to fight people for money. Sometimes, I would fight them just for the hell of it. In my arrogance I would justify what I did by saying it was for some higher purpose or greater good. Maybe someone would think twice before beating his wife or kid again. In truth, I didn't know how to deal with my anger and taking it out on people who reminded me of my childhood gave me an excuse to unleash it.

I'm very much an adrenaline junkie. I love the rush, and I love how it feels. Having said that, I miss the old life, but there's a big difference between thirty-one and twenty-one, and I'm not as sharp as I used to be. Nothing hurts quite as much as the painful realization; you can train to perfection and still never beat the clock.

So this is my life now.
I'm divorced, I have two sons, and aside from my job as a paid couch potato, I'm a freelance writer and video game designer. I actually have two credits under my belt, not that you've heard of them. One of them was never released, the other is undecided. My girlfriend, God love her, says I sell myself short with my rates. It's flattering and hard not to let it go to my head, but she's biased. You have to walk before you can crawl. A lot of people in the business will tell you I'm a nice guy, but that doesn't mean they'll vouch for my writing.

Being black, standing at 6"1, 250lbs, people expect things from me. They expect me to be "hard" to listen all of that gangster rap music, and to translate ebonics for them. The truth is, I listen more to video game soundtracks than anything else. My next choice would be Nickelback, followed by anything easy listening or instrumental. I absolutely abhor gangster rap and most R&B makes me want to blow my brains out. Note I said most, not all. ;)

So this is my blog. Not the blog you'll find on MySpace or anywhere else, here you will find the truth that I won't say anywhere else. Here you will find my observations on the triumphs and idiocies of the human race as observed through an iPod-infused mentality. Here I will share how my experiences in two disparate worlds has allowed me to survive in both of them.

And here, I will be very frank on how I view situations, including my own, and state how things could get better--or worse.

Feel free to comment, criticize, advise, whatever you like, because it's only through the opinions of my peers will I see where I am strong and where I need to improve.

Thank you for reading. Welcome to Pizza Soup For The Soul.



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