An Extroverts Guide To Introverts

Congratulations on adopting your first introvert! If you own a cat you have a head start on this adventure. Your introvert will challenge you, cancel plans at the last minute, and may never, ever speak to you on the phone. However, given time and TLC, your introvert will become one of the most loyal and caring people you've ever met, so much so that you'll wonder what you ever did without one.

Let's get started!

So let's start with you. You're the social butterfly, the one who loves to laugh loud, be around as many people as you can, laugh loudly with others who are laughing loudly and happily chatter away with everyone in the room.

Meanwhile, the person you brought with you, the one you swore would have a good time, the one who never seems to get out of the house, has either disappeared into the corner with a single person where they appear to be whispering. Or they're playing with the dog. Maybe both. But they just don't seem to be having a good time and if you'd known it would've been like this for them, you never would have made them leave the house.

Let me start by saying that your friend doesn't hate people. An introvert prefers to take one person at a time, engage in what they consider a meaningful conversation, process that conversation, and move on. An extrovert says 'party' an introvert hears 'room full of walking talking nuclear bombs'. Introverts don't hate people, but being the center of attention is like being in the center of the sun. Everyone is talking so much and so loudly that it all devolves into black noise, and soon we want to go home and never come out.

Image Original Property of Youth Connect

Your introvert would actually love to meet new people. This is why we count on our extrovert friends because meeting people comes far easier to you than it does to us. But please be patient. An introvert can (and loves too) talk deeply about most things and finds that introductory small talk forced and awkward. We're not good at it. This is what we count on you for because you shine at the introduction.

Your introvert will never agree to a spur of the moment party. That's like asking them to walk into that room full of bombs when they're already exploding. One on one events are a little less daunting, especially in the beginning, but still, take days of notice. Don't surprise your introvert with last minute plans because they'll lock up like a turtle's jaw. The more notice you give, the more time they have to mentally prepare for the event. I promise, if they're going with you to this event, know that your relationship means a great deal to them. 

The last thing you should know is that your introvert simply wants to be alone from time to time. They are not antisocial. As you're recharged from hanging out with people, an introvert is a dead battery after a party. They're not avoiding you, chances are they had a good time, but after so much noise, your introvert will need to disappear and recharge in silence. Often this is the hardest part for the extrovert to relate to; an introvert needs solitude, silence, and space to function. Given time they'll be (reluctantly) happy to people again, but that time alone is necessary.

Extroverts can introduce introverts to the world the latter would never see otherwise. Introverts can provide that lifelong friendship the extrovert may be lacking. So thank you for adopting an introvert and if you haven't, consider picking one up today!

Thanks for reading. 

Three Lessons Learned From Self-Destruction (Why I Pulled My Titles)

Hello there! This is way later in the day than I intended. I just got home from a two-day vacation in Seattle; while the wife went to the Seahawks training camp, I threw a bag over my shoulder and got back to my roots. I really forgot how nomadic I am, and how refreshing it is to have the ground under your feet with no idea where you're going. I still believe that the best things in life happen by accident, and I explored parts of Seattle I hadn't seen before. I'll have photos up on my Instagram and Facebook within the next couple of days.

So come back with me one year. I'd finally done it. After all the planning, pantsing, panicking and pontificating, I finally self-published my first novel to Amazon, Kobo, and Barnes and Noble. It was called Era of the Scourge: Reclamation. It took place sometime before Era of the Scourge: The Ring of Asarra, but I never really cleared up the timeline (mistake one).

Then something amazing happened. A week later (I hadn't checked my sales yet), a friend of mine got in touch with the headline; "Someone's doing well for themselves." She had forwarded me a copy of Amazon's scifi/fantasy newsletter.

Reclamation was right at the top, in new and exciting reads.

I literally fell over in my chair.

It didn't stop there. Reclamation took off on Kobo, so much so that they were using it to advertise the platform.

And right about here is where the self-destruction kicked in.

I added a subplot to Reclamation one week before I released it and people liked it. When you've heard failure loser never-gonna-be-anything literally all of your life, that's what you come to believe about yourself.

I had two days where I moved no units and suddenly I was freaking out.

I looked back over everything I had out at the moment; a few shorts, an audio production, and I decided that my dad and detractors were right. I was crap. People were starting to realize that. So I took everything down before the world could realize I was a fraud and phony.

People started emailing me that week as to why they couldn't find this title and I realized; I'd made a mistake. I wasn't ready to confront the idea that just maybe, I was good at being an author, but maybe I didn't suck as bad as I'd been led to believe.

There are three things I took from the experience;

1). Everyone Suffers From Imposter Syndrome.
There isn't a creative alive that doesn't believe they suck. No one, from Stephen King to J.K. Rowling to R.J. Blain, believes they aren't a giant fraud ripping people off. I'm not special in that regard and neither are you. The successful ones are the ones who drown out the noise in their mind and power through. I'm on the final drafts of two novels, each over ninety thousand words, and I've at last learned to tune out that monster.

2). Respect The Craft.

Self-publishing comes easy for me. I don't have that fear of pushing Publish. I look forward to it because it's scary as hell and each time I do, I stab that self-doubt monster right in its black heart. I can also generate quality content at a high rate when I put my head on it. 

But I left a lot of meat on the bone when it came to Reclamation. I still wasn't satisfied when the deadline rolled around. I felt backed into a corner (of my own making) and I wasn't smart or humble enough to buy more time so I could tell the story correctly. 

Loving the craft--and the business--doesn't mean you should take it for granted. I never announce deadlines anymore. I sparsely release information on my novels. I am taking them time to tell the stories as they should be told so when I do publish them, it's all out there.

3). Just Because No One's Reviewing...
Let's be straight. Reviews are hard to come by. I didn't seem to need them; people were buying my stories in droves. I wasn't getting any reviews so I figured it was the friends/family/intro bump, but then complete strangers were tracking down my social media and telling me how much they loved the story. I had no idea what to do with that. I mean, if they're not taking the time to review, then they're just telling me what I want to hear, right?
Is it apparent yet that I suffer from a tremendous streak of self-destructiveness?
If people are spending their money on your work, that's huge. There are people who won't spend money on health insurance but they'll buy your work. Track them down, if they don't find you first. Thank them for their efforts. Get them onto your mailing list. Reviews may be hard to come by, but a lack of reviews does not indicate a lack of interest. 

That latest bit of self-destructiveness I put myself through was the last. I have taken concrete steps to ensure that that doesn't happen again, though I'm sure there are a million other demons for me to slay. I hope that by reading this it saves you from making my mistake. You're far better than you allow yourself to believe. See your craft through. May you find success in your endeavor.

Thanks for reading.

When It's Time To Walk Away (A Survivor's Story)

Five years ago, I pulled a handwritten letter from the mailbox that changed my life forever. It was from my father. Strange, because we never spoke.

He'd written three pages; front and back. In all three pages, he apologized, over and over again, for what my childhood had been. It tore the breath right out from me. I remember falling back into my seat, horrible memories popping up as I went over his words. He stated that a lot of it was his fault and that I didn't deserve it. I'd never thought I'd hear those words in my lifetime.

I've never cried so hard in my life.

My first memory in life is from my father hitting me. I still have the scar from the occasion. The home was never home and the last place I ever wanted to be. The home was terror, fear, and oppression, wondering what kind of mood dad would be in and how we'd be made to pay for it. The home was where I got hit with everything you could think of, where the punches struck and I thought I would die because I was bleeding so much, or I couldn't breathe.

Home is where I got angry.

My mother did the best she could. My mother never put herself before anyone else, not even a stranger. She would cook for a week. She taught me to write and embrace my imagination. She often physically shielded me from my father's assaults. She paid a horrible price of her own.

I wasn't the easiest kid to raise. I was a bad student, a juvenile delinquent, and I was completely rotten to my little sister. Some of those beatings? Yeah, I had them coming. My juvenile criminal record rivaled an encyclopedia.

For awhile, I thought I might have a real relationship with my parents. Like the ones I heard all of my friends talk about, the ones that made their stories feel like gut punches. That dream of going home for the holidays for the laughing, the food, and even the drama? Seemed like that was in reach for a little while.

Then, the son I abandoned at birth got placed with them.
And it happened all over again.
To him.

I was an adult at that point. I could do something about it now. But I was always afraid that if I ever saw my father again, I'd kill him.

I went through the legal system (it took five years altogether) and obtained full legal custody of him. I still had a tenuous relationship with my family and tried to get my mother to understand why my son wanted nothing to do with them.

But she wouldn't.
I guess I can't blame her. I love my mom. They grew up in different, more violent times. Talking to her and trying to get her to understand--and having my wife tell me to stop trying to get her to understand--was what really made it all click.

To them, there was nothing wrong with the behavior. Fear and distrust were okay, as long as you did what you were told. Nothing else mattered.

Following the court order on my son's custody agreement resulted in a yearlong struggle to get him back. When I finally did, I heard for the last time that my father thought I was a failure for the path I took.

I'm done.

I hate listening to stories about friends and their families, how they go to each other for comfort and solace, or just get together on weekends and hang out. I hate it because it's all I ever wanted in life. I've been on my own since I was sixteen years old. I know how to fight and survive, but getting close to people and forming healthy relationships is something I've always struggled with.

Simultaneously I love hearing about normal stories. I love knowing that not everyone came up like I did. I love that normal still exists.

I don't talk to my parents or sister anymore, and I think it's a silent agreement that we're all better off this way. It sucks because I love my mother very much. I even love my father, if you can believe that. A little while ago, we all remarked how if mom passed first, the rest of us might never speak to each other again. It's hard to admit that you, and your birth family, are better off without one another.

Life is really good today. I'm in a healthy marriage with an amazing woman and partner. I have full custody of an amazing kid I actually left behind at birth (how about that!). Ours is not a home ruled by fear but by love, compassion, and understanding. It's why I rarely leave on my days off.

Cutting people you're supposed to love may be the hardest thing you ever do in life. It doesn't mean you love them any less, but if their absence is healthy for you, then do it. No one has the right to deem you a failure, a mistake, or any of that shit. No one has the right to put their hands on you. Ever.

It's been a long, difficult, and wonderful journey, but I'm a survivor and I'm happy to be here to tell you that it's okay to be yourself. It's okay to look after yourself.

And it is always okay to leave toxic people in the rearview.

Thanks for reading, and God bless.

Three Tips For Finding and Keeping A Supportive Partner

Image Courtesy of Pixabay

I've been stuck on my two WIP's for the last two, maybe three hundred years. My wife has sat through so many of my revisions I'm pretty sure she's contemplated putting her hands around my neck. Just for a few moments.

So not long ago, I happened across yet another amazing idea for the dark fantasy I've been imprisoned in. My wife listens. She doesn't say anything. She smiles politely and blinks. Husbands, boyfriends, we've seen that smile. It's the smile we get when we're trying to explain why we haven't done the thing she's asked us to do three million times.

When I finish my little tirade, she doesn't say anything.
For five seconds.
Then, in a tone to make Darth Vader proud, she says "Just go write it."
And so I did. It had taken nearly six months, but I wrote out the draft to my dark fantasy's introduction and haven't looked back.

I joke, but the truth is my wife isn't mean at all. She's quietly patient, and if not for her prods and encouragement I wouldn't have hit the top of the charts last year (for ten seconds).

The chief complaint I hear from fellow creatives is not how difficult the struggle is. We all know how hard it is. It's how they gain no support or worse from their significant others. Well, after screwing up every relationship I've ever been in and then finally getting it right, this is what I've learned about finding, and keeping, a supportive partner.

1). Don't be with someone who wants to be with you although you create.

Don't be with someone who wants to be with you in spite of your creativity. Never be with someone who says they love you in spite of who you are. This is a train wreck waiting to happen. Someone saying they love you in spite of your creativity means they view it as a fault. Either you'll succeed and they'll become jealous and angry because they were wrong, or you won't and they'll view you as a failure. Either way, it's a train wreck waiting to happen.

How I Learned: My first ex-wife used to tell me all the time how she loved me in spite of the fact I was a creative nerd. She would pick fights when I would try to write. Some of these fights are a matter of public record now...

2). Be ready to put the time in.

Chances are we already have a full-time job, kids, games we haven't beaten, books we haven't read and so forth. Creativity is how we spend our spare time. Be ready to give some of that up.
Every relationship takes work (lots and lots of work), and the best relationships take all kinds of effort. Be prepared to give up some of your free time to make it work. After all, you're asking someone to endure the despondency of being alone in a room with you. If you find someone willing to go through this, do everything in your power to make them happy. People like this don't come around often.

How I Learned: I screwed up one good thing after another by refusing to answer that text.

3). Be Honest.

This is the most important aspect of the whole thing. Be upfront about who you are, the sooner the better. Better to get someone out of the way, to make room for the person you're supposed to be with, rather than withhold who you are and end up forfeiting a vital part of your identity.

How I Learned: I entered a relationship with someone who hated Star Wars, without knowing how much the franchise meant to me. That was not a positive experience for either of us.

There are billions of people on the planet and if you're bisexual you have absolutely no excuses; find someone who will support your creative endeavors. Find someone who will push you to be your best and let you know when it's time to stop. Someone who will crawl through the mud and grime and rain, someone who will take your hand at the end of it and pull you the rest of the way through. Someone who is so supportive they inspire you.

If you have this, you're already ahead of the game.

Thanks for reading. 

What's A Creative's Most Important Lesson?

I've been blessed to know a lot of prolific, successful authors and more than one bestseller. I guarantee you know of at least one.

Here's something you may not know.

Virtually every single one of them either has or needs a day job. Another is on public assistance.

Another recently announced that they were stepping away from the industry because the financial strain was just too great.

To learn that one of your mentors stepping away from the business because their expenses outpace their income is crushing

If they can't make it, what chance do I have?

Let's be clear on something. If you've made a dollar on your creative endeavors, congratulations, you've already succeeded. Financial stability through creativity is a miracle and financial freedom is a strike of azure lightning.

I've been walking around with lightning rods for ten years now. Every so often the lightning has struck.

I was never able to maintain it because I did not plan ahead.

Any writer will tell you to write often, research your field, network with other authors and produce good content on a regular basis to succeed.

But to really succeed? Here's what you truly need.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR FINANCES.

If I'd heeded this advice a decade ago, I'd be in a very different place. Treat your money like it's your most valuable resource because it is. Get ruthless with your expenses. Do you really need that or can it wait? How much can you put away right now? 

Unless the lightning finds you, you will not find financial freedom on your first, second, or even third book. That will gain you a backlist and if you're smart, a financial foundation to go forward from. 

As soon as you finish reading this, sit down and take a hard look at your finances. It is completely possible to gain financial freedom through creativity but it doesn't happen through luck. Be smart with your money and enjoy a prosperous future. 

I recommend Banner Bank if you have one in your area for basic checking and savings. I rely on Simple for bills and spending, and I'm getting ready to open an account with Aspiration as a dedicated savings account.

Warren Buffet just released six tips for life and finance that everyone should read. Check this out too.

If you have any positive experiences with any financial institutions, please let me know in the comments? I'm always looking to level up my financial game.

Thanks for reading.

ID17, Please Know This

Image Courtesy of Pixabay

If you were born here.

If you came from another country and were naturalized.

If you came here fleeing persecution, are following our laws, and trying to make a better life for yourself and your family.

Then you are an American citizen.

We forget that our nation was founded on the ideas of freedom and rebellion (and conquest, on a darker note). The spirit of America is that anything is possible, regardless of circumstance.

No one betters themselves on their own. It remains upon to us to uplift one another, no matter how loud the selfish voices may be at any point in time.

So as we come around to Independence Day, 2017, please know that if you fall into any of the above, you have the right to celebrate just like the rest of us. So raise your flag high and proud, you rebel bastard, because no matter what anyone says, this is your land.

Welcome home.

Happy Birthday, USA.

Thanks for reading.

We Have Come A Long Way.

Image Courtesy of Pixabay

An excerpt from Dwayne Mckissic's draft calling upon the Southern Baptist church to condemn white supremacy;

"WHEREAS, there has arisen in the United States a growing menace to political order and justice that seeks to reignite social animosities, reverse improvements in race relations, divide our people, and foment hatred, classism, and ethnic cleansing"

The words "Reverse" and "Reignite" got me thinking.

Marriage is colorblind and becoming genderblind
A growing number of the next generation is biracial.

We have had a black President. 

Don't let the ratings-chasing media and the roar of negative voices change your opinion or dull your resolution.

We may have a long way to go.

But we have come a long way, too.

And we'll keep on going, no matter what.

Happy Independence Day, America.

Thanks for reading. 

An Open Letter To All Good Police Officers

Dear Officers;

Thank you for the service you provide. It's no small thing to risk your life every day to keep our civilization intact, especially when it seems like half the world is calling for you to resign or worse. Please know that your efforts are appreciated.

I am a black man living in rural America, and I know there are good police officers out there. Some of them cut me breaks when I was a kid and some of them live in my neighborhood now. I've had more positive experiences with police than negative ones.

The murder of Philando Castile is deeply disturbing on many levels. This was a man who had never committed a crime in his life. In the span of forty seconds, he'd gone from a standard pullover to violent statistic. In the span of forty seconds, Officer Jeronimo Yanez went from addressing a broken taillight to firing seven rounds into a vehicle that also carried a four-year-old girl.

Mr. Castile informed Officer Yanez that he had a firearm. Officer Yanez wouldn't let him finish the sentence, indicative that he was already on the defensive. Is it possible that Officer Yanez genuinely feared for his safety? Yes. Is it possible that this could've had a different outcome? Absolutely.

My question is this; if a person of color can legally own and operate a firearm and still lose his life at the hands of those sworn to serve and protect, where does that leave us?

Officers, I am scared. I admit it. Whenever I'm pulled over, I immediately put my hands outside the door just to diffuse any possibility of aggression. I always inform the officer that I'm not armed and that my driver's license is in my back pocket. I ask permission before I reach for it. Do I want to take these steps? No, and I shouldn't have too, but I have a family I want to get home too. (Blessedly, all members of law enforcement in my county where bodycams).

I worked a long time to get my life together and I am scared of losing it because the wrong officer sees me as large, brown, and a threat.

It should not be this way.

What really frightens me is this; as tensions are unusually high between brown citizens and police, one day, someone is going to fight back. It will all be recorded, too. An officer is going to make an erroneous assumption and the victim is going to successfully defend themselves.
Or worse, it will be assumed that an officer trying to do their job will be aggressive, resulting in pre-emptive action. If you think things are bad now...

None of us want this; not us, not you. I'm asking every decent member of law enforcement to please, for the sake of everyone involved, stop and think before reaching for your firearm. Your aim is to protect and serve, and a lot of us feel as though we are being hunted.

I also ask that decent police renounce actions such as Officer Yanez's. That you stand together and publicly vow to do whatever is in your power to reduce the chances of events like this happening.

At the end of the day, I promise; we all just want to go home. So let's get there together.

Thanks for reading.

Father's Day, For Everyone Else

Father's Day is a difficult day for me. On one end, I'm grateful for the second shot I got at fatherhood. I love both of my children. I hope to heal the estrangement between myself and my oldest. I hope to put my youngest son on a path far removed from the one his mother and I endured. Love comes first, always. I'm grateful to be a father. More than being a writer, nomad, storyteller, whatever, I love being someone's father.

It also dredges up horrible memories of my own childhood. Days spent in sheer terror; waiting for my father to come home and inflict whatever bad mood he was in on the rest of us. Wondering what kind of beating I was going to take that night. Hell, sometimes I wondered if I'd even make it through the night.

The times weren't all bad, though. There were baseball and basketball games. Super Bowls as I got older. Events just he and I did. It was him who first introduced me to Green Lantern.

Which makes the day all that more difficult because while my father was a tyrant, I know he loved me and raised me the best way he knew how. We have buried the hatchet, but we don't speak much now. He still sees me as a failure and I'm learning to live with that.

So I wonder; when I scroll through selfies of people with their dads, am I the only one who feels robbed of something? It's a horrible jealousy, I admit it because all I ever wanted was my father's approval and as I approach middle age, I'm finally coming to terms that I will never completely have it.

No matter how successful I become, or what good I do in the world, or who I help. It will never be enough for dad.

Ah, Tuesday.
Image Courtesy of Pixabay

Is any of this familiar?
Do you deal with this too?

Then please, know this, from a father.

You are not a mistake.
You are loved.
You are not alone.
You are cared for.

You can't see it now, but one day, you will be strong. You will do good in the world because you won't want anyone else to endure what you did. You will take the pain and the anguish and you'll forge it into a sword that will do so much good in the world that it'll make the bad memories make sense.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Or what you've been through.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The storm will pass eventually. And the sun will be beautiful.

Happy Father's Day.

Thanks for reading.

If you suspect someone of being abused, I can help.

Help Me Understand.

Everybody has one person on their job that no one would miss if they went missing.

They have one person who just brings the day down, everyone hopes they call in sick and pray they never come to an office function.

If you think your job doesn’t have this person, congratulations; you are this person.

The person you want to step on these. Image Courtesy of Pixabay.

Anyway, someone close to me relayed a story about this person, and how glad everyone will be to see them go. What makes it worse is that the person’s employer is a good boss.

So the way this story goes, the One We Wish Would Go Away is baselessly haranguing the boss, and up until this day, the boss was oblivious to it. Circumstances arose in which the boss was finally made aware of the One’s animosity towards him.

The boss just slunk back into his chair, shaking his head. “Why?” He asked, “Why doesn’t he like me? I’ve bent over backward to keep him here.”

“I don’t know.” The storyteller replied, shrugging and wishing she could ease the pain, “But if I had to guess, I’d say it was because of your faith. Not that it’s any excuse.”

He shook his head. He wasn’t one to talk publicly about his religion. In fact, up until that day, he’d never named his faith aloud. He walked the walk, though.

“I don’t understand.” His reply was hopeless and desperate, “Why would he hate me just because of that?”

That really hit me; the profound sadness. I don’t understand.

That's damn good question.

Well, hairball back at you, bruh.
Image Courtesy of Pixabay.

Hatred is such a pervasive and corrosive snake. The worst part of it is that you think it feels good. It's simple and requires no explanation. It simply 'is'. You feel it and that's enough.

It requires no understanding.

And it is the surest path to destruction. That's the real price of hatred. It cannot tolerate anything other than itself to exist. The inevitable conclusion of hatred despite the flowery promises is destruction.

Truth is, people will give you plenty of reasons to dislike them without being blind about it. Most people are also pretty approachable and want to be heard, even if it's to be disagreed with.

Love is not the antithesis of hatred. Understanding is.

Some of my favorite memories while galavanting around the country revolve around finding something strange, asking someone knowledgeable, and learning. For example; cow tipping is actually pretty cruel. Please don't do it.

It takes strength to admit we need help, and that there is something we don't understand. Most people are willing if the chance is given.

If I don't know, teach me. I'll learn.

If I don't understand, help me understand.

Help me understand so we can put the world back together.

Image Courtesy of Pixabay

Thanks for reading.

On Writing, Part 2: Writing With ADHD

I was twelve years old, standing beneath a gray sky in Berkeley, California. Beside me, my mother wants to take my hand but is trying to respect that I'm too old for it. She stands there, in front of the student med clinic at her alma matter of UC Berkeley. She is taking several deep breaths, on the verge of happy tears. After so many years of disruptive behavior, and questions with no answers, I have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder. At last, things made sense.

(c) Grey Brechin

After a few moments of contemplation, my mother looks at me and says; "We don't have to do it, you know."
"Do what?"
"Medicate you."
Mom saw what certain medications did to other kids. She likened it getting lobotomized.
It was a no-win situation. The medication the doctors were advising, Ritalin, would mute me. Without it, I'd be a hyperactive nightmare for my parents. But I'd keep my imagination. I turned down the medication.
Giving me the choice was one of the best things my mother ever did for me.

Attention Deficit Disorder is a learning disability that makes paying attention to one thing very difficult, almost impossible unless it's highly stimulating (like a video game). It's a TV in your mind that is always changing channels, and you are not in control of the remote. The hyperactive variation means the channel changes once every second. People who deal with it suffer from low self-esteem and struggle to form positive relationships (check and check).

TWEET THIS: WHAT IS ADHD AND HOW CAN IT MAKE YOU A BETTER WRITER


It can also be a tremendous boon to creativity because your imagination never stops going.
But sitting down to write, focus that creativity into a single objective can feel like a slow death.

I've been living with ADHD for almost thirty years. I've written and published, a number of shorts over the years, learning to tame the disorder to a point where I can work. Here's how you can succeed as a writer ADHD.

• Make Time For Your Writing

The mind craves routine. When you first attempt this, it may be like trying to hold lightning in your hands, but as you get used to it, your mind will acclimate, and then anticipate that the time you set aside is solely for the writing process.

• Keep The Browser Closed

Oh, internet, you wonderful, beautiful time sink with your adorable, hilarious gifs and memes and tweets and Facebooking. You have enough open browsers in your mind (it took me three tries just to write this sentence), so minimize the distractions and keep your browsers closed.

• Block Out The World

Seriously. No phone, no notifications, no nothing. Music may help the process along. Don't let anything get between you and what must be done. Which brings me to my final point.

• Focus!

Ryu learns to focus

One of my favorite animes, Street Fighter 2 V, had Ryu in a temple trying to learn Hadoken. He could see his ki firing over the place like random bullets. He realized these were his intentions, and that he had ''too many thoughts, too many questions". He realized that he could focus these intentions into a single attack and fired off Hadoken. It's the best analogy I can think of for sitting down and getting the job done. You have no distractions, nothing to get in the way at this point except what's in your own mind. What are you here to write? Bring your mind to that. Again you may find yourself wrestling the lightning, but it does get easier over the time. Bring your focus to the project at hand, and focus only on that. Then, put your fingers to the keyboard and trust the process. Living with ADHD doesn't get any easier over time, but it can be a boon if you allow it. I've been writing as long as I've been contending with this disorder, and thanks to these tips, a lot of trial and error and my wonderful mother, I'm better for it.



TWEET THIS: FOUR WAYS ADHD CAN MAKE YOU A BETTER WRITER

Thanks for reading.

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